The Diabolik Grouchat
by TheLittlest
Summary: oresama created a group chat. oresama added somnophilic, mamabear, angerissues, lordsugar, virginmary, manslut.
1. Chapter 1

**The fuck did I create...**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DIABOLIK LOVERS.**

* * *

**oresama created a chat**

* * *

**oresama added somnophilic**

**oresama added manslut**

**oresama added mamabear**

**oresama added lordsugar**

**oresama added angerissues**

**oresama added virginmary**

* * *

**oresama: **whattup bitches welcome to hell

* * *

**mamabear left the chat**

**somnophilic left the chat**

* * *

**angerissues: **fuck you

* * *

**angerissues left the chat**

* * *

**oresama: **well  
**oresama: **that didnt go as planned

**virginmary: **does anything you do go as planned ayato

**oresama: **fuk u yui nobody likes u

**manslut: **dont worry baby i still love you ;))))))))))

**oresama: **oi shes a no no touchy zone

**virginmary: **you know what, everyone else had the right idea

* * *

**virginmary left the chat**

* * *

**manslut: **looks like its just us three left now

**oresama: **the holy trinity as it should be

**lordsugar: **offended you didnt invite teddy ayato  
**lordsugar: **apologise now

**oresama: **what u gonna do midget  
**oresama: **165 lookin ass

**manslut: **oooooooo

**oresama: **wait wtf  
**oresama: **bitch

**manslut: **kanato is that you screaming

**oresama: **who the fuck else sounds like a dying cat laito

**manslut: **true

**oresama: **oi kanato u can shut up now

...

**oresama: **seriously stfu  
**oresama: **…  
**oresama: **its been like 10 mins wtf is wrong with u

**manslut: **reiji just approached me lookin real mad so i hid in a closet what should i do

**oresama: **kanato OK SRYSLY NOW STFU BEFORE I GO OVER THERE AND SHOVE A DICK DOWN YOUR THROAT  
**oresama: **wait

**manslut: **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**oresama: **bitch no wtf no I aint gay what no homo bro no homo

**manslut: **oh lolol k

**lordsugar: **ok

**oresama: **dam u stopped  
**oresama: **maybe there is a god afterall

**manslut: **or maybe kanato just scared of the d

**lordsugar: **yui came over and w cakes so I stopped to eat them

**oresama: **wat  
**oresama: **y she no givve me cake wtf this is abuse

* * *

**Don't ask...**

**Feel free to comment.**

**~TheLittlest~**


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: This chapter could be slightly offensive. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**oresama added somnophilic**

**oresama added mamabear**

**oresama added virginmary**

**oresama added angerissues**

* * *

**oresama: **thought u culd escape huh  
**oresama: **think again bitches

**angerissues: **fuck you

**mamabear: **Ayato this is why you aren't the favourite child.

**oresama: **fite me 4 eye blind bitch

**mamabear: **How crude.

**somnophilic: **what must i do to get a peaceful afternoon

**oresama: **tell me im the best

**somnophilic: **id rather die thanks

**virginmary: **seriously ayato you have some serious ego problems

**oresama: **not a problem if im right tho

**angerissues: **ayato you have big bitch syndrome dont even lie

**oresama: **you have anger issues

**angerissues: **wow such originality

**mamabear: **Careful there Subaru, Ayato doesn't know what that word means

**manslut: **oof get dunked on

**virginmary: **hahahahahaha

**oresama: **wtf is this roastin going on here  
**oresama: **tf did i do

**virginmary: **big bitch syndrome

**oresama: **fuck off pancake

**virginmary: **ill make YOU a fuckin pancake if you dont watch yourself there son

**oresama: **ill like to see you try with ur whole 158cm

**virginmary: **bitch ill get subaru to knock you out dont try me

**angerissues: **no need im already on my way

**lordsugar: **ALL OF YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING QUACKERS IM HAVING A TEA PARTY W TEDDY AND YOUR INTERUPTIN THANKS

**virginmary: **omg  
**virginmary: **I MEAN OH MY GOODNESS NOT GOD

**manslut: **time to smite you down ;))))

**virginmary: **ew wtf

**oresama: **ew wtf

**angerissues: **ew wtf

**manslut: **i dont need this attack thank

**virginmary: **anyways  
**virginmary: **did you just call our mouths quackers kanato

**lordsugar: **yeah i did and ill say it again if you dont stfu

**manslut: **damn never knew quackers was such a scary word

**virginmary: **ducks are terrifying excuse you

**oresama: **HAHAHAA AAHHSS

**virginmary: **what you laughing at takoyaki fucker

**oresama: **ur scard of ducks HAHAHAHAHAHA

**virginmary: **stfu  
**virginmary: **youve clearly never been chased by a herd of ducks before

**angerissues: **how do you get ducks to chase you anyways

**virginmary: **bread

**manslut: **even so little bitch  
**manslut: **ducks arent scary  
**manslut: **do you need me to chase them away from you next time? Or hold you close to you feel safe? 💗

**virginmary: **id rather aggravate a goose thanks  
**virginmary: **and also you stfu too you scared of spiders

**manslut: **i will not stand for this outing

**angerissues: **wdym outing everyone knows that youre a scared pussy

**manslut: **meanie ;((((((((((

**angerissues: **why tf are you winking when youre sad

**manslut: **tears are kinky

**virginmary: **you need the tears of jesus to save your soul

**angerissues: **im an atheist but AMEN TO THAT

**oresama: **oi pancake do u wanna drop jesus for ya bois new religion

**virginmary: **i beg your fucking pardon  
**virginmary: **choose your next words carefully peasant

**oresama: **its dedicated to big boobs  
**oresama: **maybe u can wish for new ones

**angerissues: **are you fucking stupid or are you just suicidal?

**oresama: **bitch wat she gonna do  
**oresama: **cry about it

**manslut: **if youre going to cry yui let me know ;))))))))))

**virginmary: **oh haha its cute how you think that youre funny

**angerissues: **SIS POP OFF

**virginmary: **BITCH BOUTTA THROW SOME HOLY HANDS DOWN HERE  
**virginmary: **listen up ginger sluts

**manslut: **I accept slut but ginger? wat

**oresama: **bITCH IM NOT GINGER

**virginmary: **if you dont go down on your hands and knees and beg for the forgiveness of the lord himself  
**virginmary: **youll find religion entering you in places you didnt think jesus could enter

**manslut: **;00

**angerissues: **why the fuck are you still winking  
**angerissues: **YUI BOUTTA STICK A WHOLE ASS CROSS UP YOUR ASS

**manslut: **hmm jesus may be my new kink

**oresama: **id like to see you try

**manslut: **smite me daddy yui

**virginmary: **ayato ill throw you into some holy water and watch as you drown in the pool of your sins

**angerissues: **you getting poetic in here lemme write this shit down  
**angerissues: **hol up lemme get a pen

**oresama: **u gonna add it to your emo diary

**angerissues: **fuck you go choke on jesus' dick

**virginmary: **that was my line subaru

**angerissues: **o shit sorry

**virginmary: **dw babes i forgive you 💗💗

**somnophilic: **will you all shut up before I come over and make you

**oresama: **wat u gonna do, leave us on read?

**somnophilic: **bitch dont test me

**oresama: **fite me

**virginmary: **place your bets now! who will win, shu or ayato?

**manslut: **i wanna be a supportive and good bro but shu will dunk his ass lmao

**oresama: **!

**angerissues: **lol is that even a question shu could beat ayato in his sleep

**oresama: **yours truly will win at EVERYTHING!

**virginmary: **bitch you still havent beaten subaru in a fight yet  
**virginmary: **im still waiting

**mamabear: **As much as I hate that good for nothing dead-beat, Ayato has no chance in winning against him.

**lordsugar: **teddy and i agree that ayato will lose horribly

**oresama: **fuck yall I want a new fam

**virginmary: **:)

**oresama: **?

**angerissues: **yui  
**angerissues: **dont

* * *

**virginmary added bigboi**

**virginmary added smolboi**

**virginmary added daddy**

**virginmary added kou**⭐

* * *

**Feel free to comment.**

**~TheLittlest~**


End file.
